Saturday, February 14, 2015

marriage letter: dear valentine

dear peter.

pondered lots about love this past few days.  valentines is so "hallmarkesque"-full of sugary, sweet sentiments, but our love has long past that season.  perhaps love is more of a continuum than cyclical in nature.  love that was once defined by providing & protecting & caring is no longer.  but our hearts are forever tied until the two of us move from here to eternity. even then i believe somehow our love will remain, just not for worldly eyes to witness.

then i thought of what remains of you.  alive & pulsing through the hearts and minds of others.

like when jeremiah & i return home from soccer practice and he always points to the library and says, "i remember when dad and i would hike there.  he would read me books.  he would let me check some out and carry them back home for me"  last night he added, "i still have the library card in my wallet.  want to see it when we get home?"  your love for family & a small slice of plastic in his billfold remains.

like your coworker, you know the one-he looks like the marlboro man but in a crew cab pick-up, who stopped by a few months back to check on me and ask about you.  lots of small talk about construction companies & guys you used to work with and for.  as he was hugging me good-bye with a couple of tears shed, he said thanks.  he wanted me to know how much he appreciated us taking a risk in assisting him with his own company.  your love for hard work & excellence & integrity remains.

like last week when the neighbor stopped me while i was walking the dog.  she asked how we were doing.  you. me. the two of us leading our new separate lives away from each other.  she mentioned her husband and the hikes you two along with sons would take on sunday afternoons, a shared beer afterwards.  he misses those & you.  he built this palapa you would love to sit under.  your love for male bonding & the great outdoors remains.

i miss you this candy-coated celebratory day.  but i realize something.  you life was amazing and monumental, but more importantly, it is the sum of the million little things you did for others that defines who you were.  the passions of your heart remain. each of us carrying them like a torch in honor of you. and i realize that is what love is.  today and always.

love you my valentine.

1 comment:

  1. oh the legacy. oh the man. oh the love. so much missing and, yet, he keeps popping up in our little old every days.