Thursday, August 14, 2014

if we were on a coffee date...

dear pjm.

if we were on a coffee date,  me=double tall with vanilla and of course non-fat. you=tall latte with vanilla & extra foam. why the extra foam?  just to sound fancy? ensuring the barista is paying attention to your cup?  holding her accountable?  for the life of me, i never understood the extra foam.

if we were on a coffee date, i would casually slide this across the table...
you would ask how i cropped your head upon that over-robust body.  i would giggle when you'd quip you were a wimbledon fan.  obviously.  always.  and belly laugh over your snarky remark about needing to laying off the fork & knife.  i would search the photo in pursuit of some goodness. perhaps your affection for consistence, however, having it dictate your fashion choices{every day}was just too dang much. or your desire for adventure, again, except when making selections from the your closet.

if we were on a coffee date, i would tell you i changed all of the non-functioning malibu light bulbs.  it was my inaugural attempt, but i have contemplated it for a few months.  you would label that procrastination.  i would ask where you hid the electronic eye which intellects when it is dusk and illuminates our home making it warm & inviting as the night grows darker.  you would acknowledge i had done an acceptable job & divulge the exact locations of those "eyes".

if we were on a coffee date, we would stare for a moment into one another's eyes as we "chinked" paper coffee cups and cheers{ed} to another summer of warm memories & holding dear to a few traditions.  we would remind one another of the wild & free preschool days of sweet brown eyes & attempt to measure how far we have grown; yet knowing no instrument could accurately reflect our stride.  

if we were on a coffee date, i would tear up when asking you why you broke that promise you made before he was born.  you ensured me you would be there for his high school graduation. but i have learned life shifts & we cannot predict & God is there in the shifty & unpredictable.  and the two of you.  you & Him will be there at that high school graduation watching from above.

if we were on a coffee date, i would bask in your presence because i would now understand the limitation of our time together.  i would snap a mental picture of your face, so full of life & joy.  i would hold your hand & ask you to list the million ways you love me.  not because i doubt your love, but because i desire to hear them all one last time.

miss you sweet pjm.  learning to coffee & other things minus you.
but you live so boldly in spite.

your wife 
{that would love just one more coffee date}

this post was inspired by amber over at "mr thomas & me".  you should have "coffee" with her…soon. 


  1. You and Amber both have a way of bringing me to tears with your words every time. Thank you for sharing.

    1. tears. they come so easy some seasons-this of course being one of them.

  2. your writings. So very inspirational....

    1. angie. i am determined to find goodness in they midst of all of this. thanks for being inspired. it means much that people read & feel inclined to comment.

  3. This is beautiful, really beautiful. :)

    1. that seems to be my mission…to find beauty in the messy of watching a life slowly slip from here to eternity. and of course to remember the amazing man i was privileged to have married. thanks for reading!

  4. I always forget I shouldn't read your blog at work because I always end up on the verge of tears!
    Very great post!!