Monday, May 5, 2014

why i don't pray he will be healed...

unbelief.  i don't want to give life to the whispers of my heart.  can i believe & fully trust God, yet not expect a miracle?  is praying for death blasphemy?  if i say a medical healing is impossible, am i a woman of little faith?  or perhaps no faith at all?

loving, well-intentioned friends tell me pjm can be healed and they pray specifically for his body to remain healthy enough so a team of doctors can find the perfect fix and cure him of his dementia.  and while i have witnessed miracles here on earth with my own eyes & ears, deep in my heart i do not believe pjm will ever be cured of his dementia until he passes away and leaves this earth & his body & brain behind.  it is then he will be cured. once he is with Jesus, his withering body & disease racked mind will be made new.

if pjm were physically healed and returned to our family & his work place, it would only be temporary. none of the miracle healings performed in the bible granted anyone a life of physical eternity here on earth.  the blind who could see again eventually died.  lazuras, raised from the dead, eventually died again.  the leaper whose faith made him well, eventually died.  the woman, whose continued flow of blood stopped, eventually died.  even Jesus who died & was resurrected ascended into heaven and no longer walks the earth as a man.  our bodies are temporary.  God designed our souls to be immortal, not the fancy package we happen to have it encased in here on earth.

death of our physical bodies is inevitable.  therefore, i will chose to find joy, grace and God in the middle of watching my husband lose a battle that each of us will eventually be called to fight.  where my confidence rests is knowing pjm's destination is heaven bound.

1 comment:

  1. And that, my dear, sweet, loving friend, is just how much you love pjm. You love him enough to let him go to a place better than this. You have always wanted the best for him and I hear exactly that in your precious thoughts and open heart. Big hugs and so much awestruck respect ~ <3