Thursday, May 29, 2014

marriage letters: how we "co-work"

dear pjm.

i know, love, sounds like labor doesn't it.  like childbirth.  but it isn't.  no, no.  no more babies.  promise-except for those "grand" ones. no, this is about how we labored. you know, how we worked together as a team.  you+me = a union of glory greater than either one of us alone.

my very first impulse was to remind you how we labored mostly like toddlers.  you know how they "parallel play"-standing next to each other at the sand table, but the only interaction is when one needs the other's shovel or tractor?  we parallel labored so often.  you in your office looking across the hall at me in mine.  in close proximity to one another, but not working hand in hand.

then i remembered that RV trip we took once like two silver-haired senior citizens, except i was 35 & you 45 and we were parenting those two elementary-age blondies.  we loaded that "trailer" as you like to call it with your isuzu trooper hooked to the rear and drove to Washington D.C.  then we made a u-turn and returned back to california.    with a whole lot less technology at our fingertips, we navigated our way across the country with one thick U.S. Atlas-pages of tangled interstates & highways like veins running through ones body.  it opened up about the size of a newspaper.  each evening we would look at it together and chart out a path for our next day's adventures.

you did all of the driving.  i did all of the navigating.  just like siri dictates directions to me now, i sat in the passenger's chair and ordered each and every turn for 3,000 miles as we traversed across the country.  and you listened and turned and merged and sometimes u-turned when i was wrong. i could never have driven our 36-foot home along with a tow vehicle for even three miles or three-quarters of a mile. but following a map from point a to point b was never a gift you were blessed with.  together we labored our way-each depending upon the other.

that trip is a metaphor for our lives-our marriage.  so often we would sit in our bedroom, you in your corduroy tan chair and me in my floral one, with our feet resting on the same ottoman.  we would verbally spread out our "marriage" map and discuss where we had been and the new direction we wanted to head as a couple & family.  there were seasons when you would have to redirect my moral compass away from me & back toward God.  and i, too, would do the same for you.  together we labored at giving up ourselves for one another in hopes of shining a flicker of God's greatness into this world.

and today, as i sit alone with my feet on that very same ottoman we shared, i realize this disease that has manifested itself in you continues to work me into a better person.  more kindness-less selfishness, more peace-less discord, more faithfulness-less disregard, more patience-less intolerance.  you, love, continue to labor at refining my edges and allowing God's light to shine through our marriage.  you continue to give up of yourself and mold me into a better person.

love you & so dearly miss you.
your co-pilot

this is part of marriage letters.  a monthly prompt.  this months was "how we co-labor".  you can read amber's on the runamuck or seth's here at sethhaines.  and you can write your very own to your love and link up for the rest of us to read!  will you join me?

1 comment:

  1. Peter's chair!! Another amazing insight of your love and lessons learned.