Friday, May 9, 2014

i am not a basketball fan; therefore, i am.

sweet brown eyes loves basketball.  he has an alert on his phone {let's not get into a kid having a cell phone discussion} notifying him when his favorite team, the thunder, is playing and the scores during each quarter of the game.  his all-time favorite player is kevin durant. every friday he wears his "kd" jersey to school.  when he goes to the barber he asks for the "kevin durant" minus the sideburns.  he can rattle of "kd" stats & facts fasted then that fedex pitchman.

to be honest, i am not a basketball fan.  i am a fan of my sweet brown eyes, and sweet brown eyes is a "kd" fan; therefore, i am a "kd" fan.  this was called circular reasoning back when i was in high school.

and the other night when durant was named NBA MVP for 2013-14 season {hope i have all of that information correct because i am a fan after all}, he gave a heartfelt acceptance speech.  sweet brown eyes and i watched & listened together.  take a moment, or 26 minutes to be exact, to watch it yourself. i needed a few tissues; you might too.

one line continues to echo in my mind.  he thanked God for giving him basketball as a platform to inspire other people.  and i realize this is why i openly share my life & our sickness.  God is using pjm's illness & death as a platform to inspire others who are struggling.  i could quietly lay in a heap in bed and talk to God about the hows, whys and whens but if i am brave enough to share, perhaps our storm could give words-emotions-and most importantly faith to someone else who is walking what feels like an impossible path. perhaps knowing another aches in a way that will never heal, will give encouragement to face the most daunting of days.  perhaps the love-support-grace that has grown within the circle of our family challenges someone to seek refuge in the arms of their own family or to offer grace & forgiveness to someone who desperately needs it but cannot ask because vulnerability is too frightening.

dear "kd".
my sweet brown eyes is watching your every move & listening to all your words
both on and off the basketball court.
thanks for being a man he can look up to
even if you say occasional"bad words" during practice.
he is going to stand a little taller today
full of pride with "DURANT" hung across his shoulders.
mom of your #1 fan

dear mama durant.
you have raised a man of God-humble & full of integrity.
learning to be a single mom is plain scary to me,
but you along with your son's words encourage me.
do they make a t-shirt that says "kd's mom's #1 fan"?
if so, could i order one in a small & wear it every friday?
inspired mom

dear God.
i have said it before. i would trade everything,
in this case let's say enough basketballs to circle the globe, to have pjm healthy,
but that's not the plan You have.
continue to give me words that point to You
even if for only one other set of eyes to see.

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