Tuesday, April 15, 2014

the new man in my life...

rex wandered into our lives at a local feed store.  yes, we live in a little slice of country where there is a feed store just over the bridge from home.  right there. hanging on the bulletin board out front was a notice.  i pulled off one of the tabs and tucked it into my pocket.  after a day of contemplation, i worked up the nerve to call & he wanted to meet just a few hours later.  his baby blues captivated me from the moment we locked eyes.

and after a week with this pup, i realize so much about life-loss-love and pjm.  i was unaware before rex arrived, how much of a hole had been left right there in the center of me.  somehow this pup fills some of the void in pjm's absence.  crazy, right?  and as our family hopefully grows with more grandchildren and regardless of how full my life will become, there will always be a hole where pjm lived.  and i cherish that hole he has left because it is part of my story.  part of who i am.  it has grown me deep & rich.  the loss has made all of my blessings i do have so dear.  and i realize i am okay even though i no longer have him at my side.  and okay is a good.

dear pjm.
you once said when a man loses his wife,
he just needs to get a good dog to help him get over the grief.
and it's just another thing you were right about.
love you.

dear rex.
thanks for filling some of that hole pjm left behind.
i thought it was entirely impossible to love a dog so much,
but you, my friend, have stolen my heart.
thanks for sleeping all night 
and being quick to learn the proper place to pee & poop.
smitten by blue-eyed rex

and if you want to see more of rex,  follow me on instagram or #blueeyedrex.
promise.  he is ADORABLE. 


  1. Okay is good and this makes my heart very happy for you!! It has been too long and if that sweet Rex has helped my friend heal ( not like a dog-heel) then I say okay is great.
    Love you!

    1. and you must stop by and snuggle with him again. he is already grown so much!

  2. I stumbled upon your photograph of Rex last week on instagram and decided to follow you because we have puppies almost the same age (mine was born on Feb. 17th-same day as my 3rd child, who turned 20 this year)! Today, I saw that you have a blog, so I checked it and have been reading parts of it and I can say that you are an amazing Godly woman, who has probably helped more people than you are aware of. So raw and so beautifully and honestly said. Best of luck to you with your new pup! He is a cutie and I'm sure a handful right now but, a fun handful!

    1. It is you! I get comments emailed to me when they post so that's how I knew. But then your picture is the same as the one on Instagram. Rex was born on Feb 13th, so very close to your Belle. And thank you for your sweet words. So many lives are touched by tragedy and ours is certainly not the worst of things that can happen but if I can find the honest words to express the multitude of feelings I have, my hope is it will resonate in the heart of another standing in the middle of their own mess.

      P.S. and yes, Rex is a pleasant {and busy} distraction from the messiness of life!