Thursday, January 16, 2014

a cup named grace...

it all started with a little too much noise and a misunderstanding.  a boisterous starbucks & a barista asking my name.  i said chris.  she heard grace.  and it feels so very right.  who doesn't need a cup named grace?

in this season of pjm+sick, i have been overwhelmed not by just the HUGE decisions like where to safely place him but also the littles including reordering checks with or without his name {i know, many of you are saying "debit card"...hello 21 century-but the delivery pharmacy for pjm & my bug guy-they need checks still}.  so a cup, or even a few drops, of grace randomly sprinkled about my day remind me God is here in the middle of this mess.  and that He loves me and my precious family and my broken husband.

hebrews 4:16 says we can approach our God of grace with confidence knowing we will find beauty and mercy in our times of need.  and yes, i know at the end of me {and pjm} there will be this beautiful presence of being with Him...but today-yesterday-8.3 months ago, i lose all focus of Him.  the complications of wearing many hats exhausts me...tending to sweet browns & that new common core math while balancing visits with pjm and attempting to keep a pulse on our businesses, are nothing less than taxing.  i do not deny having help from family & a very competent CPA but in the dark of night and some days even in the bright of the noonday sun, it is overwhelming & intimidating.

and that's where the cup of named grace can be found...somewhere between the hope of yesterday and the mercies of tomorrow, He is ever-present in my today of messy.

dear God.
i want to say i am so unsure of how i made it a year,
but then when i search the very depths of my soul, i find Your grace.
thank you for a year of tender mercies when life was beyond crazy.
thank you for children that kept their focus & loved our family more than themselves.
thank you for friends that held space to allow me to grieve the presence, yet loss of pjm.
for girlfriend dates-surprise parties-vacations in mexico to embrace family.
thank you for teaching me when it is dark & scary,
to walk toward Your light however dim is seems.
and for the gentle humbling which forced me out of comfortable
and into living life fully engaged.
Your goodness & grace have been served up generously.
i am blessed & loved.
grace aka chris


and a shout-out to my girl, amber.
i told her the "mama bird" thing wasn't working for me
and this blog redesign was all her!
while that's not her "day job", didn't she do am amazing job!
i think yes...don't you?


8 comments:

  1. Chris:) I love reading your blog. I love how raw you are about life. It's refreshing and inspiring. Thank you! Lots of love, Cassidy

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    1. thanks Cassidy! it is always exciting to have someone let me know they are reading...to have a face behind the # of page views. our life as a family has changed dramatically thru all of this, but as we both know God is never-changing and had provided graciously for us...even though somedays feel quite frightening without pjm along side me.

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  2. I might be partial, but I just love the new look and new you! It seems so, so perfect for your new NOURISHING year. :) Thanks for being such a strong and serious example of leaning into and resting in His grace and goodness.

    P.S. This is one of my proudest looks if I do say so myself.

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    1. thanks girl for everything. the love, support, and crazy persistence in the tech world that i could never navigate!

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  3. We have never met in person, but we will because Amber and Mr. Thomas will be seeing a lot of my husband and I when we move back to Temecula, but I really enjoy reading your blog. You always looks at the glass half full and that is such a great thing. I love the new blog layout and the name. Very fitting!! Can't wait to continue to read :)

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    1. alexes. thanks for the sweet words. and i do feel like i know you because amber tells me of you and your life in colorado! amber was the genus behind the new look! hope you find your way back to town & we can share a cup of coffee..or wine!

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  4. Nice to meet you Grace! You seem so much like my dear friend Chris, aka Mama Bird. Do you know her? She is a beautiful example of how someone can survive the unthinkable with God's love and grace. Just adore you no matter the name but this is really fitting :)
    Xo

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    1. grace & mama bird are kindred spirits! thanks for being my most faithful of readers and holder of that space that allows me to grieve in our scary adventure of pjm.

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