Wednesday, January 9, 2013

finding my way...

a new year comes with a new normal for our home.
december felt like  life in a snow globe-several times in a single  day, my world would go all
topsy-turvy on me.  as soon as the glitter had settled, it would happen again.

changes have been made out of shear necessity  and here i sit in january learning to adapt to my new.
i know God has a plan and His timing is always perfect and  He loves me more than i can measure,
but today in the new i long for my old abnormal over this.

my pjm has been moved to a memory care facility.
i was no longer able to care for him-myself and sweet brown eyes.
i visit him.  he is content and peaceful.  that's what we want for a love one that is sick.
he has fallen in love with a cat...he always hated cats.

i am learning to walk solo.
yes, i have an amazing safety net of friends & family
that are embracing me in this most difficult of times, but after 26 years,
i am without him & i realize there is so much to learn and process in this new year.

i will find my way.  and i will do it well.  pjm would expect & desire nothing less of me.
but how deeply i miss him .

1 comment:

  1. LC - (as Peter used to call you), my heart aches for this loss you are experiencing. You are doing really, really well and are such an incredible example to all who witness this sad and unplanned chapter in your life. I know that Peter is so pleased with you, his loving wife and wonderful family. Take time to adjust and be gentle with yourself~