Monday, April 18, 2011

true confession...i'm a gawker

so amber and i ran the la jolla half marathon {13.1 miles} on sunday...i will write more on the actual race tomorrow, but i would like to reminisce about the outlandish pre and post-race activities and outfits we were so delightfully entertained with...

{disclaimer:  i am not stacy london and i am sure i have visited starbucks, shopped for groceries, and walked jeremiah into school in "what not to wear" kind of outfits...however, there are some basic running behaviors and accouterments that should NEVER happen}

1. never wear white shorts-when you run 13 miles, you sweat.  white becomes transparent by mile 5, even on the chilly days.

2.  men should also steer clear of white t-shirts...there seems to be a nipple chaffing issue with some men, and seeing two bull's eyes at chest level crossing the finish line looks like you have traversed a battlefield not ran 13 miles.  i have been told a dollop of vaseline takes care of this issue...thankfully i don't have personal experience.

3.  booty have to be booty-less to wear these.  if you are like me and booty-licious, this garment has a way of creeping and that is very unattractive, especially for those who are running behind your behind.

4.  yoga pants + sports bra = style schizophrenia.  if it is cool enough to wear pants, you need a top that covers your belly. 

5.  bike shorts, swim trunks and bathing suits are for biking, swimming and bathing...NOT running. 

6.  make-up...this bewilders my simple mind.  i have to get up at 5:00 a.m. to get dressed and drive to the race.  i have zero time for "putting my face on" my granny called it.  additionally, i would sweat it off and look like the lead actor in a horror movie by mile 3.

7.  knee socks...these were very "in" when i was in elementary school.  girls were also not allowed to wear pants or shorts to school in my day.  ladies, lets liberate ourselves and burn those knee socks.  expose those calves!

8. pleated skirts...those need to stay on the tennis court or cheer mat or back at catholic school.

9.  do NOT wear the race t-shirt during the run.  it is a bad omen.  you are not a "finisher" until you finish.

behaving badly...
1.  stretching while in the pre-race "line-up".  there simply is no room for this and you are encroaching on someone's personal space.
2.  victory arms at camera locations along the are not working it hard enough if you have time to pose for the cameras.

3.  beeping pace is highly irritating listening to your *beeping* watch.  and does it really help you keep your pace.  it seems there should be a natural cadence to your stride without audio assistance.  i don't even understand the need for a garmin....even if you are the lead runner{which is highly unlikely since there were 7,200 of us participating}, the course is marked and you will find your way to the finish line.  follow the runners in front of you. 

4. is not acceptable to stand in the pre-race crowd and pee out your pant leg.  gentlemen, this is just wrong on so many levels.  peeing in the bushes-do you realize we all can see you-especially you ladies that are exposing your bums.  just because your back is to us does not mean we don't see you. 

5.  spitting and nose blowing with no regard to your fellow runners.  goodie bags await us at the finish line.  no one wants to take any of your "race course goodies" home with them.  be aware when you blow or hawk.

6.  warm-up running prior to the start of the the energy.  13.1 miles are awaiting you.

7.  affection at the finish line.  we are all perspiry and malodorous, lets not kiss and hug each other.

8.  sprinting the last .1 at 21 mph means you did not really run the first 13 miles at capability if you have the energy to burst past three people and carve 3.26 seconds off your time. 


  1. Laughing out loud!! This is priceless Chris and I am picturing you and Amber at the race saying these little tidbits to each other!! Glad you were able to maintain and stay the course. Too, too funny! Oh, congrats for another race run!

  2. TOO funny! I think these thoughts when I drive by [note - driving, not running] runners doing all of those things! Proud of Amber & you!

  3. dana & is such delicious sight seeing. absurdity at its best! i forgot to mention the people wearing trashbags to keep warm. they shed them prior to the starting horn.