Tuesday, February 8, 2011

the hook

We have a new accessory in our bedroom. A silver hook screwed on the wall just to the left of my side of the bed…over the lamp. Nothing fancy-just a plain small silver hook. It represents healing. It represents sickness. It represents hope and recovery. It reminds me of the faith I have in our Healer. It reminds me of a hook a shepherd uses to guide his sheep back into their flock. It holds a bag of saline Monday-Friday along with 4 grams of antibiotics that drip into Peter’s arm. Healing him while killing the bacteria that has called his body home for many years. The doctor says it could take months for the bacteria to die off and for Peter to feel like his old self again. I have grown accustom to the hook and wonder if when we are thru this season of IV drips, will the hook remain. A visual of two things: how far we have come and to never take God and health for granted. I also want to remember…the hook is an accessory, but God is not. He is me. He fills me when I am doubtful, he loves me when I feel ugly inside, he embraces me when I am scared about the million and two “what ifs” in my life.

I am a planner and love to work out from here to having grandchildren in my head. I trusted and believed I could actually do this once upon a very immature time ago. I have learned (albeit it the hard way) that I am really not the boss of me. God is my boss. He has the BIGS and the littles worked out. My simple job is just to listen and obey Him. Sounds so simple. And easy and that best way to function but I had to get to the whole other side of myself to realize this. I have spent countless journaling pages explaining my agenda to God, I have spent countless hours chatting to him in my head explaining how and why my plans are the best way to work things. I have even thrown a few temper tampers (as Scoot called them) telling God how unfair He has been to me and that he had better get things straightened out darn quick or else! Needless to say, I remained stuck in my pitiful spot. Not because God wanted me there, but because I in some twisted way wanted to remain there.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”. This explains it very simply, He know-He has a plan-he is looking out for what is best. I must let go of my knowing, my planning, my best-ing and trust Him to do His work in my life. I have tried to sweep the floor with a crawling baby under my feet. It is hard to sweep up the crumbs because the baby is in the way and keeps dragging the crumbs around. Dear God is asking me to get out of the way and stop dragging the crumbs around. He has something much more magnificent than crumbs…but I must trust and move out of the way so His work can be done in and through me.


  1. You figured it all out by yourself Mama Bird! Yay! You're on your way to becoming a licensed professional blogger.

    I love you and your popsicle and your hook and your boys.

  2. no i didn't figure it our all by myself...i held the computer to my forehead and stood in front of the microwave for 29 minutes with is powered to 50%(the microwave-not the computer) and now i get it! okay, so i don't really get it but i am stinkin'good at trial and error, error, error...love you my baby peeps! and hopefully before i am a member of aarp, i will get how to tweet!

  3. What wisdom God has revealed through your trials. Thank you for blessing me by sharing and teaching me along your journey~ You are on smart mama bird!

    May your nights be a tad more restful:)


  4. I meant to say ONE not on.....tired and blind!

  5. Your words are beautiful Chris. God is your sturdy hook in this journey. He will be your hook even when/if the silver hook is taken down off your bedroom wall one day.

  6. Often I hear people say, "when I get through this trial I hope and pray I have a great testimony to share with others." And yet, I have learned, for many, it is not getting to "the other side" that brings your testimony to light in the minds and hearts of others. Often it is watching a dear friend go through her struggle that you realize you are seeing her testimony right then and right there. Her strength, her faith, her love...it's all from God and it is beautiful and powerful. You are sharing your testimony my dear friend and it is enlightening many. Much, much, much love to you my inspirational friend.